life by doing
the same things
~Cara Alwill Leyba
Just the other day I finally got my Style Your Mind workbook written by Cara Alwill Leyba. This was the first quote in the book and it is crazy how much I have resonated with it. Because in reality unless you change something that you are doing or have been doing for a long time nothing in your life will be any different. You can wish and wish that things will be different or better but unless you put in some of the work nothing is going to change. It all really depends on you and how much you want something.
The past couple of years I have done a lot of studying about The Secret and the power of your mind. I know a lot of people think that it just seems stupid to just sit and think about all of the things that you want in life and hope that the universe will bring them to you and that everything in your life will be much better. Well, only part of that is true. You have to get clear about what you want. You have to train your mind to stop complaining all the time and seeing all of the negative around you all the time. Now, I’m not saying that having a bad day or feeling some negative feelings are bad, it is just when you are so focused on those negative feelings every day that they seem to take over every area of your life. You have to manage those thoughts and manage your decisions about things. Then really start to work hard for what you want.
I decided to buy the book Stye Your Mind because recently I have felt stuck. Just not knowing where to turn. I am a planner and I like to have goals that I can set and work toward. However, I have never been so undecided about which way I want my life to go. I think that I am finally at a point in my life where I have free range to kind of do what ever I really want. Before I finished high school then went to college which was what everyone was doing. Then I got a job (that I didn’t like) in order to pay my bills and my student loans. So, really, everything that I have done before this were things that I had to do and not necessarily things that I wanted to do in order to change my life.
Now that I am staying at home to raise our son I have time to think about what I would like to try and do with my life. Even if it just starts out as something on the side for now until he is in school. However, there are so many different things that interest me that it is hard to set specific goals to try and achieve something. Then you throw into the mix trying to balance what I want with being a mom and I am at a loss as to which way to go.
I have only started this workbook, however, I am finding it to be very unique and very much something that I need in my life right now. I am a firm believer that I know what I need to do it is just a matter of almost talking it out and finding my own answer within me. Cara is a master life coach and bestselling author. I started following her through her blog The Champagne Diet and now I follow her on social media and listen to her podcasts. This workbook that she has created is full of questions. Questions that make you think about the different areas of your life and it has definitely made me see things differently already. I am realizing different things that I have been doing that have been blocking me from what I really want. I have realized different things about my life and what I thought I really wanted has kind of changed a bit.
I am excited to finish this workbook and to see what other discoveries and aha moments I have. If you are someone like me that has been to talk with a therapist and they just don’t seem to be the right thing to help you figure out stuff in your life, I recommend trying out this book and seeing if you can make some discoveries as well!
Recently I have been thinking about how a guy that I work with and I always say that we can eat whatever we want and we never seem to gain any weight. Lucky us right!!! We always say that since we have good metabolisms and that when we stop working out we lose weight that it really doesn’t matter what we eat or when we eat. However, now that I am a mom and my son is starting to really get into eating and trying different foods (even though he is very picky still) I am starting to see how my eating habits are starting to rub off on him.
Now realizing that I do not have a very good relationship with food is the first step. Food has always been a trigger for me, even when I didn’t think that it was. When I was in high school my mom always had homemade cookies. We were not allowed to eat them before dinner so I would sneak out to the kitchen and grab about 3-4 of them and I would do that a couple of times before dinner so I could eat the cookies in my room. This is where the issue started. After I went to college I continued to eat whatever I wanted. Though, I don’t know if I would have changed anything if I would have started to gain weight. Also, my second year of college I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease where I lost about 15 lbs in a little over a week. So by the time I was done with college my body image and my energy levels were all skewed.
Now the important thing to know is that the entire time I was eating whatever I wanted when all the while all I wanted to do was eat healthy and feel like my body looked amazing. I was not fat by any means, however, I was not happy with how I looked in general and I was not happy with my energy levels. The amount of energy that I had throughout the day was in part due to my Crohn’s and not being able to really control some of the stuff that was happening to my body. The crazy part is that to other people I just looked like a skinny girl that didn’t have anything wrong with her. The joys of a silent disease. (We are sick but we don’t look like we are).
Eventually, I had a game changer that I thought would really get my motivation up to eat healthier and feel better. The year I got married I started training for bikini competitions. I really started to learn about what I should eat and when I should eat it. I was learning about proteins and carbs and learned how to weight train properly so that I was finally starting to see results. I was starting to gain more energy and things like that but when you compete you are compared to other girls that have working just as hard as you have. And when you don’t have a great relationship with food you really start to restrict yourself before a show and binge afterward. Then it just becomes a cycle. I loved seeing the results that I was getting but my diet was just too restrictive. Once I stopped competing and got pregnant I decided that I was going to take some time off from worrying about what I ate. I really just ate whatever sounded good when I was pregnant. I gained the correct amount of weight throughout my pregnancy and really just maintained a weight that was ok in the doctors eyes.
Ever since my son was born I have been trying to get back into shape and back to a good version of eating healthy. He is now 2 and I am still not there yet. Deep down I know that eating healthier will actually help with my energy levels and will really start to make me feel better about my overall health. I would also like to instill good eating habits in my son right now since he is like a sponge and is soaking everything in (the good habits and the bad). Part of me is just so worried about feeling deprived and feeling like I cannot have anything good to eat again. However, if we really start to educate ourselves with what is good for us to eat and really try to modify some of our favorites it will not be so bad. The thing that is a killer for people like me are all of the people that we think in our minds we could be like if only we eat healthy. I was one of those people and you know what, it is not as great as it looks. Until you really figure out what is wrong in the first place and why you do what you do that kind of life will not be fulfilling.
If you are someone like me and really want to finally make a difference in your relationship with food, you have to be real with yourself and know what if triggering you to eat the way you do. Sometimes it is something even deeper than just what you are eating. Many of us tend to link emotions to food and that is something that has to be fixed on the emotional level before you can fix it on the surface. I love the thrill of eating whatever kind of food I want and being able to get away with it. The worst is that I’m good at it. I am able to eat whatever I want in the privacy of my home and eat super healthy in public so people think that I am super healthy and stuff. Now though, I have someone watching me at home too so it is time to really get this stuff under control. In order to do this you have to figure out a motivation that really touches your heart to change. My motivation is my son.
If anyone else is trying to figure this all out or would like to share some tips on how they stay motivated with eating healthy I would love to hear from you. Also if you have any great healthy recipes that are easy for a busy mom to make I would love for you to share them!!!