I can Eat Whatever I Want

Recently I have been thinking about how a guy that I work with and I always say that we can eat whatever we want and we never seem to gain any weight. Lucky us right!!! We always say that since we have good metabolisms and that when we stop working out we lose weight that it really doesn’t matter what we eat or when we eat. However, now that I am a mom and my son is starting to really get into eating and trying different foods (even though he is very picky still) I am starting to see how my eating habits are starting to rub off on him.

Now realizing that I do not have a very good relationship with food is the first step. Food has always been a trigger for me, even when I didn’t think that it was. When I was in high school my mom always had homemade cookies. We were not allowed to eat them before dinner so I would sneak out to the kitchen and grab about 3-4 of them and I would do that a couple of times before dinner so I could eat the cookies in my room. This is where the issue started. After I went to college I continued to eat whatever I wanted. Though, I don’t know if I would have changed anything if I would have started to gain weight. Also, my second year of college I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease where I lost about 15 lbs in a little over a week. So by the time I was done with college my body image and my energy levels were all skewed.

Now the important thing to know is that the entire time I was eating whatever I wanted when all the while all I wanted to do was eat healthy and feel like my body looked amazing. I was not fat by any means, however, I was not happy with how I looked in general and I was not happy with my energy levels. The amount of energy that I had throughout the day was in part due to my Crohn’s and not being able to really control some of the stuff that was happening to my body. The crazy part is that to other people I just looked like a skinny girl that didn’t have anything wrong with her. The joys of a silent disease. (We are sick but we don’t look like we are).

Eventually, I had a game changer that I thought would really get my motivation up to eat healthier and feel better. The year I got married I started training for bikini competitions. I really started to learn about what I should eat and when I should eat it. I was learning about proteins and carbs and learned how to weight train properly so that I was finally starting to see results. I was starting to gain more energy and things like that but when you compete you are compared to other girls that have working just as hard as you have. And when you don’t have a great relationship with food you really start to restrict yourself before a show and binge afterward. Then it just becomes a cycle. I loved seeing the results that I was getting but my diet was just too restrictive. Once I stopped competing and got pregnant I decided that I was going to take some time off from worrying about what I ate. I really just ate whatever sounded good when I was pregnant. I gained the correct amount of weight throughout my pregnancy and really just maintained a weight that was ok in the doctors eyes.

Ever since my son was born I have been trying to get back into shape and back to a good version of eating healthy. He is now 2 and I am still not there yet. Deep down I know that eating healthier will actually help with my energy levels and will really start to make me feel better about my overall health. I would also like to instill good eating habits in my son right now since he is like a sponge and is soaking everything in (the good habits and the bad). Part of me is just so worried about feeling deprived and feeling like I cannot have anything good to eat again. However, if we really start to educate ourselves with what is good for us to eat and really try to modify some of our favorites it will not be so bad. The thing that is a killer for people like me are all of the people that we think in our minds we could be like if only we eat healthy. I was one of those people and you know what, it is not as great as it looks. Until you really figure out what is wrong in the first place and why you do what you do that kind of life will not be fulfilling.

If you are someone like me and really want to finally make a difference in your relationship with food, you have to be real with yourself and know what if triggering you to eat the way you do. Sometimes it is something even deeper than just what you are eating. Many of us tend to link emotions to food and that is something that has to be fixed on the emotional level before you can fix it on the surface. I love the thrill of eating whatever kind of food I want and being able to get away with it. The worst is that I’m good at it. I am able to eat whatever I want in the privacy of my home and eat super healthy in public so people think that I am super healthy and stuff. Now though, I have someone watching me at home too so it is time to really get this stuff under control. In order to do this you have to figure out a motivation that really touches your heart to change. My motivation is my son.

If anyone else is trying to figure this all out or would like to share some tips on how they stay motivated with eating healthy I would love to hear from you. Also if you have any great healthy recipes that are easy for a busy mom to make I would love for you to share them!!!

 

 

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